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What people are really
saying about the CD... Here's what people are saying about the Telephone Solicitor's Nightmare...
"Only 1 million more CD's to
sell and I'm set for retirement." "This guy's got a lot of
nerve exploiting the feelings of those hard-working
telemarketers." "Listening to this CD 300
times per day prolonged the life span of obese mice." "Telephone Solicitors
Nightmare is an affront to all women!" "I laughed so hard I
accidentally overdosed on painkillers." "I laughed so hard I
accidentally head-butted that Italian player." "I laughed so hard I
accidentally hurled a cell phone at my housekeeper." "The CD is a complete and
utter disaster!" "Gross is a spoiled-brat
type...perceived by most of the world as a stereotypical
American." "Your telemarketer history
must be changed to reflect the divine intervention that influenced
the development of the telemarketer." Recent ad appearing in many San
Francisco newspapers... "This CD contains sensitive
material that may offend large groups of certain religious and
ethnic groups. Therefore, I recommend that it be not be
released." "Our first instinct was to
go with the title 'Telephone Solicitor Apprentice'. When that
idea leaked out, we had 10,000 telemarketers waiting outside NBC
studios." "Buy the Telephone
Solicitor's Nightmare CD, and don't let the death of Dolly go in
vain." "We thoroughly inspected the
CD, and found substantial amounts of humor throughout." "Lisa Marie and I stayed
together for this long because neither of us was strong
enough to part with the Telephone Solicitor's Nightmare CD. "This CD was not created or
produced with the assistance of any steroids." "We're considering dropping
275,000 Telephone Solicitor's Nightmare CD's over the Middle
East in order to promote peace and good will." "We plan on cloning the CD,
despite other's criticism of our efforts." "We considered the idea of 'Telemarketer
Camp', which would have involved male and female contestants who
submit themselves to 24 hours of day of telephone solicitors' sales
pitches, but we thought that no person should undergo such
mental stress." "Listening to the CD 'lifts
me up' when I'm feeling... uh... down. "I will pardon any criminal
who buys this CD." "Telephone solicitors are
decent, law-abiding citizens. The expression of hatred
directed towards this particular group of people is harmful and
irresponsible to society." "Telephone Solicitor's
Nightmare changed my life. I recommend that you buy this
CD." "We'll promote this
wonderful CD during our XFL telecasts...if there are lots of obscenities
in the comedy bits and pictures of sexy women on the insert." "In the year of the
millennium, a man of enormous wit and comical genius will cast a
shadow on the solicitor demon." "Taking a date to a comedy
club- $75 "Instead of listening to 'Who
Let the Dogs Out' we just popped in the Telephone Solicitors
Nightmare CD after our world series victory." "This CD is environmentally
safe." "I love that CD! And
that's my final answer!" "I brought a bunch of the
CD's back to the Vatican to lift everyone's spirits." "Personally, I thought the
CD was lifeless and dull." "I predict that the CD will
be just a one hit wonder." "Yes!!!!" "I was offended by the CD's lack of sensitivity
towards foreigners." "I can't believe it didn't win a Grammy!" "If I say the CD is hot and
sexy, then it must be." "After a tough debate, we like to all sit
around together and listen to the CD." "The inmates almost started a riot when we
turned off the CD during lights out." "This CD may inspire the next great television
show 'How to Marry a Telemarketer'!" "We guys at the air traffic
control laughed so hard we lost track of which planes were which." "This CD is the greatest
of all time!"
"I laughed until I stopped!" "The basis of my
next work." "I couldn't put it down!" "I hated his guts from the first moment I
saw him!" "Gross's intricate synthesis of
hysterical, yet poignant characterizations further solidify his position as the 'comic
of the century'." "Each one of us lives with
the fear that the very next call we make could
be...uh...him." "An American tragedy." "Did anybody actually see
him receive any of these phone calls?" "Microsoft could use a man
like Gross." "There is a fine line between pathos and
brilliance. I think Gross has achieved neither." "We just finished licking
the Y2K problem... now we have to deal with this menace who calls
himself a comedian!"
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